I wish I had a magic wand so I could turn you into a fish-finger.

Something I never thought would be the case when I spent a lot of time in my teens hanging around with gamers, role-players, pagans, folkies, Morris-Dancers…(yes, ok, little has changed) was that it was indeed possible to have many, many stranger and more surreal discussions than the ones we had. Not just stranger, but completely un-self-conscious! Enter the Mysterious World of One’s Own Children.

This is a conversation I had with my oldest son when he was four and a half. Don’t imagine in too much glorious technicolor, because as is the habit with kids they like to talk to their parents when they can get them to stay in one spot for long enough…ie, on the toilet. Bleary eyed and messy haired from having just woken up.

“Mum, I WISH I had a magic wand.”

‘Oh yes?”

“Yes..then I could turn YOU into a fish-finger…so I can see what fish-fingers taste like.”

“WHAT?”

“I want to see what fish fingers taste like.”

‘But I don’t want to be turned into a fish finger and eaten up. How would you like to be turned into a fish finger and bitten?”

“It wouldn’t hurt, Mum.”

“Why not?”

BECAUSE, fish fingers are made of FISH.”

“But then I would be all eaten up and gone forever.”

“No, there would be another Mum inside the fish finger.”

“What?”

“Yes, after I ated the fish finger you would just come back. Up from the floor. Like this.” (Gestures to show someone miraculously growing up from the floor.)

“So I WISH I had a magic wand.”

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9 responses to “I wish I had a magic wand so I could turn you into a fish-finger.

  1. Utterly gorgeous!

  2. Oh, what a fabulous story!

  3. Thank you! I am still trying to make my way around wordpress – have no idea how to enable a ‘share’ function at the bottom of posts.
    Also NWN? WordPress thinks you are from Perth. Heh.
    My kids do genuinely say some very funny things.

  4. Very good. Hardy har har.

  5. Well, of course magic wands make magic eat-and-come-back-as mum-again fish fingers!

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